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BURN AFTER READING

Where is it playing?: Downtown Centre

What’s it rated?: R

What’s it worth?: $9.00 (Steve)

What’s it worth?: $9.00 (Forrestt)

User Rating: 0.00 (0 Votes)

The Cohen brothers engaged a stellar cast to play a twisted menagerie of characters involved in the selling of a found CD-ROM of an ex-CIA agent. George Clooney stars as Harry Pfarrer, a sex-crazed federal marshall. Frances McDormand of “Fargo” fame is inept gym employee, Linda Litzke, obsessed with plastic surgery and Internet dating. Brad Pitt plays a goofy gym employee, Chad Feldheimer, who tags along with Linda. John Malkovich, an ex-CIA employee, Osborne Cox, is married to the doctor Katie Cox, played by Tilda Swinton. Richard Jenkins is the gym manager, Ted Treffon, who is in love with Linda. David Rasche and J.K. Simmons portray CIA officers and, last but not least, Olek Krupa plays Krapotkin, a Russian intelligence operative. (96 min.) Steve What a pleasure it is to see such a well-crafted movie as Burn After Reading. What an amazing circumstance it is to leave a theater elated yet feeling aghast at the sharp brutality, which happens only for an instant or two, but is crushing. This movie is not for everyone, and I’m sure that the critics will have a field day with the prodigious foul language (sounds kind of like my conversations with friends) and the overall spiraling-to-nowhere plotline. The film is something like a Seinfeld episode that is both drunk and on crack. Coming off of the incredible No Country For Old Men, the Cohen brothers are increasing their stature as some of the greatest directors and writers to ever work in film. The biggest problem with writing about this movie, is that the plot is so convoluted and full of surprises that addressing practically anything within the movie would result in spoiling it for prospective viewers. Take it from me, this film is a brilliant tour-de-force, without plot, cast, or action problems that plagued many of the films I’ve seen this year.

Forrestt Yeah, “What the *@*@?” (Which seemed to be the most commonly uttered phrase in the entire flick). This movie rocked! And I agree with Steve. I see a lot of movies, and I see a lot of movies with Steve, and most of the time we walk out of the theater and are forced to convince ourselves that what we just saw was a great movie. It’s not very often that we don’t have to say anything at all because the movie spoke for itself. Everyone did a stellar job acting, George Clooney was my favorite in this one, and I hate to say that I like Brad Pitt, but I have really enjoyed his acting lately. Steve confided that he enjoyed Mr. Pitt’s built, cut figure, and pretty boy face, but personally, I can look past all that and simply enjoy his character.

Steve Hmm, I don’t remember referring to Brad that way at all, I think instead you just wanted it to get into print so that when Angelina comes looking for me, you have an in with Brad. You’ll probably have to shave off that stubble stuff that is sometimes mistaken for a beard on your face, though, as I am sure Brad’s stylists will not be too happy to see all the scratch marks on his thighs. Seriously though, Brad reminded me completely of our former writer Kai Beech, who is now in Colorado conquering not only the Aspen Daily News, but also all of the morally lax women residing in the mountains. I can’t really pinpoint a favorite actor in the movie myself, but I can say that Tilda Swinton is an absolute expert at playing a cold-hearted bitch. Her face is perfect for that role. Malkovich is incredible as always, too, and I could feel his psychotic rage as he bumbled about cursing and hating everyone. He reminds me of all the unhappy people I see running around with sticks in their butts daily. Speaking of which, I think Forrestt likes Clooney’s character the best because of (spoiler alert!!) his sex machine.

Forrestt I’ll have to admit, the sex machine was pretty damn funny. You know, it’s a good thing nobody reads this crap. For a minute I got a little peeved about what you just wrote, but then I remembered that this is the New Times. The paper knows how little this column means and set it up so that a monkey, or even a “Staff Photographer” could write this drivel. But to those who ARE reading, go see this movie! You’ll enjoy every nuance. There are plenty of moments I probably would enjoy even more on a second viewing, which I’m thinking about doing. My favorite comedies are the dark ones, and this one’s right up at the top of the black comedy list, for sure.

Steve So, I guess in this case, you, Forrestt, are the monkey otherwise it would be Glen, and he is a bit lower simian looking, I will admit. Glen will now be putting you on his poop-list for calling him a monkey by the way, so watch out because he can throw feces well! All in all, this is cinema at it’s best: Great script, nicely convoluted story that keeps you wondering what the heck is going on, perfect acting and casting, and it gets a good bashing in on the government, CIA and stupid people who are too obsessed with themselves. Uptight people who have no sense of humor need not see this film.

Forrestt I had always wondered why your office smelled so bad but then I realized that it was the thick air of smug self-righteousness.

Steve OUCH!

Steve Miller is New Times’ staff photographer. Forrestt Williams is a local musician looking for free movie tickets at forresttwilliams.com . Comment at semiller@newtimesslo.com.

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